Sorry guys, didn't have anytime this weekend to any reviews. So I’m going to repost the recap of my favorite Project Runway reviewer, Jennifer Eonlin:
GUIDELINES TO READING JENNIFER (EOLIN'S) PROJECT RUNWAY BLOG:
* Jennifer is (hopefully) a comedian, (definitely) not a designer
* Jennifer is wearing baggy yoga shorts and an ill-fitting t-shirt as
she writes this
* Jennifer thinks clothing for dogs is a good thing
* Jennifer wouldn't have a life if it weren't for Project Runway
* Jennifer understands this is pathetic
EPISODE 6:
"Hot green mess." --Heidi
The episode opens with Ra'Mon and Logan lamenting the fate of Johnny and Malvin, their former roommates. Logan is wearing clothing so I can hardly be bothered by this exchange. (Yes, I'm just as bad as the models. I find the one straight guy, he's hot, so he's my eye candy. Sue me, I'm a hotblooded female!) The other contestants blab emptily about "stiff competition" (tee hee!) and "I'm not here to make friends." Yak yak yak. Let's make some clothes, kids! Or challenge Logan to a game of Strip Battleship. One or the other! (I have issues. I'm aware of them. Shut up.)
THE CHALLENGE:
They meet Heidi on the runway and she tells them that since they are in LA, it's about time to get them out of that sewing room and see what this town is most known for. Oooh! I wanna guess! Let's see... LA is best known for its PORN! Oh no, that’s just the valley. Um... UNEMPLOYMENT! No? ENTITLED A-HOLES! No... FAKE BOOBS? No? STRIKES?! No? Really? Sigh. I give up. Tell me, Heidi: "Moviemaking." Really? I thought that was Vancouver's claim to fame. (BAM. Take that SAG.)
So off they go to Soundstage 6 to meet Tim Gunn. (BTW, Producers, could you SHOOT a smaller sign of the studios as an establishing shot? I mean really? A laminated sign on a door? I had to press pause on TiVo to read that they are at Los Angeles Center Studios. C'mon. Who's shooting your b-roll?? Blind interns? Jeebus, do I have notes...)....
Tim greets them: "Designers, welcome to a REAL Hollywood soundstage!" Um, I love you long time, Tim Gunn, but ya'll are not ON the soundstage. You're outside the door of a closed set. Let's just call a spade a spade: "Designers, welcome to a lot that won't give us access to a soundstage even though they said they would, so we're not giving them any publicity and ultimately, you've come all this way to stand in a parking lot. Congrats!"
Logan secretly hopes that his man purse will 0
make the girls like him less. He. Is. Wrong.
Mr. Gunn tells the designers that they will select one of 5 film genres and create a character who lives in this genre. The designers are thrilled, and I have to say, I like this challenge. It's practical and makes sense as it's a real job in the world of design. Oh sure, I keep hoping for the "make a pair of culotts out of egg crates and half-baked macaroni" challenge, but I'll settle for this one in the meantime.
Tim explains that there will be product placement---ahem--that Collier Strong from L'oreal Paris will be a "crucial" part of their challenge. He will be working closely with the designers to bring their characters to life through make-up. (HOW is this different than any other week??)
Tim: "Believe it or not, designers, this is not
Mr. Clean during puberty!"
Collier: "True 'nuff. I'm a bad ass."
Tim: "Sure you are. Your big earring
really says, 'Mess with me.'"
The genres the designers have to choose from are: Period Piece, Science Fiction, Western, Film Noir and Action/Adventure. Irina picks first since she won last week. The other designers chose as Tim pulls their name out of the velvet bag:
Irina = Film Noir Logan = Action/Adventure
Carol Hannah = Action/Adventure Ra'Mon = Science Fiction
Louise = Film Noir Althea = Film Noir
Gordana = Period Piece Nicolas = Science Fiction
Christopher = Period Piece
Which means that the last two are left with...
Shirin = Western Epperson = Western
Poor kids.
Ra'Mon tells us that he grew up watching Star Trek (REALLY!?) and that he's huge into science fiction. Nicolas says the same. I would have NEVER guessed this in a million years. Never. Ever. I would have guessed who killed JR before this. (Yes, it's an old reference. I'm full of 'em, kids. It's how I roll.)
WORK DAY #1:
Back at FIDM, they have 30 minutes to sketch and it's a ONE DAY CHALLENGE. Um, yikes! That's super crazy!! To make up a story and character AND make the outfit in one day and for only $150?! Wow. That's rough. My heart goes out to these guys, for real. That would send me into a panic attack. But so does not being able to find a stamp when I need one.
Carol Hannah and Logan chit-chat (emptily) about their outfits since they have the same genre of Action/Adventure.
Carol Hannah: (swooning) "You're beautiful."
Logan: (sighing) "Tell me about it."
Logan says in his sound bite that CH is the only girl he's really connected with, to which, Carol Hannah says in her sound bite that she thinks Logan is hot. There's a quick shot of Logan winking at her... And then that story beat ends. BOOOO! This was the story beat that was hyped up during the week. A ROMANCE! Phooey. I've had hotter romances than this in elementary school. And NO I wasn't a slut. Yet. Mostly. I can't remember. AHEM! Moving on...
Ra'Mon and Nicolas are getting a lot of attention about their choice of Science Fiction and that they both claim to be really into it. I smell and winner and a loser. And bacon. (I like to daydream too, Nicolas!)
Off to Mood... montage of chaos ensues... Thank you Mooooooooooood!
Back in the workroom, Louise's bobbins are missing (SCANDAL? YES? No...) and Nicolas and Ra'Mon take up a lot of camera time. Ra'Mon is making a(nother) jumpsuit. (Remember his jumpsuit that he scraped from Episode #3's surfwear challenge? Yeah, it's back. But this time, its green.) And Nicolas is making an Ice Princess dress. (Which you KNOW he's had in his head for a long time.) Sigh... It's already pretty clear to me who's gonna win and who's gonna lose. (Thank goodness this show doesn't have an electoral college... too soon?)
Louise makes me worry when she says that she doesn't really have a story yet for her dress. And her bobbins are still missing. (Maybe she should talk to the steamer since it ruined Johnny's dress last week? That steamer sounds like quite a rapscallion of misdeeds!)
TIM GUNN'S CRITIQUE:
Tim starts with Gordana. She's doing a period piece. (Anybody else wish that one of the period piece designers would have made a dress out of maxi-pads? A necklace out of tampons? A fan out of pantiliners? Yes? Anybody? No? I'm alone? I'm alone. Okay, that's cool. I'm used to it.) Gordana has chosen the 20's and is doing a flapper dress for a girl who is coming out into her own for the first time. Tim Gunn tells her to make the back lower. I love the color she's using and Tim seems encouraged. (But then again, he loved her newspaper dress...)
Christopher is up next. He tells Tim that it's a vampire bride in a Victorian era. Tim is a bit aghast that she has bare arms. (Make a Victorian hoodie, Christopher!) Tim is worried that it's not 1800's enough.
Epperson makes Tim exclaim, "Annie get your gun!" He loves the western themed dress, "Carry on!" (Oh my, guess who'll be in the Top 3 but not win I wonder... hmmmm.)
Ra'Mon is next. OMG. If Kermit the Frog were to join Cirqu du Soleil, this is what he would wear. Even Tim Gunn says, "This could be sublime, or it could be a big hot mess."
Louise has an under slip of the dress to show Tim. Tim urges Louise that she needs to pump it up and stop being minimal, "Take the DNA you have as a designer and push it!"
Nicolas jokes, "I'm obviously doing Western!" He tells Tim that she's an evil villian. Tim tells him it's a bit safe.
And there's your top 3 and bottom 3 folks! GRRRRRRRRRRR! I almost felt like I didn't need to watch the rest of the episode.
Tim leaves them with a cheery: "I want to remind you that someone's going home. So I want you to look around this room and assess where your own work is in relation to other designers and just be as ambitious as you can be." MAN! All he needed to add to the end of that was, "NUT UP, DESIGNERS!" Yeeks.
"Thank goodness I'm not in Europe or this
gesture would indeed be very rude."
The models come in for fittings and make-up consultations. Ra'Mon's model, Vanessa, is horrified at the prospect of another jumpsuit. You can see it on her face. Ra'Mon decides with 2 hours left to scrap the jumpsuit and make a dress. Why not? It worked last time...
Meanwhile, Louise turns herself into a human Frankenstein and sews right through her finger and handles it... gracefully. Unlike when Jillian (remember her from season 4?) who didn't sew through her finger but dramatically claimed (as though auditioning for Sweeney Todd) that there was blood everywhere. Good for Louise keeping it together like a professional, but booooo for the audience. I have to say it: This episode is really a snoozefest but without the benefit of some good spooning. (Oh, Logan...! And yes, I'm aware that I'm a cougar...)
RUNWAY MORNING:
Epperson eats oatmeal! The girls and Nicolas do their hair! OH THE DRAMA!
The girls talk about how much they have to finish, especially Gordana. Sigh. Doomed. She's doomed.
Back in the work room, they finish their looks and blab about "I'm gonna be safe" and "the judges are gonna love me." Zzzzzzz...... Is it me or really, did this episode play out like stereo instructions? Just a lot of filler with very little content.
THE RUNWAY:
Heidi comes out to introduce the judges and we see that Nina and Michael still aren't there. Which leads me to believe that Michael is pregnant with Nina's lovechild. Wait. Reverse that. Or not? (SNAP!)
Our judges are as follows: John Varvatos, designer. Editor for Marie Claire Magazine, Zoe Glassner, and Oscar-nominated costume designer for Walk the Line, Arianne Phillips.
Heidi: "I'm wearing sequined leggings!"
Zoe: "We know and we're trying not to look at you."
Heidi: "Well at least I'm not wearing my grandmother's doilie."
John: "Would you both shut up? At least you're not wearing the same thing as someone else."
Arianne: "That's why I can't even look at the camera, I'm so
embarrassed.
Tim Gunn said we should have caucused!"
SAFE:
IRINA - Film Noir:
Irina: "Kalyn looks like a film noir actress. She looks like she just stepped off a set. I'm so happy that she's able to do that because it needs that in a costume and I just want to run up there and give her a kiss."
This dress looks lovely on the runway, but when there was a close-up of it in the work room, it looked messy. A bit unfinished. I agree with this being "safe" and I could aslo see this definitely being in a noir film. Very LA Confidential.
CAROL HANNAH - Action/Adventure:
CH: "As my garment is coming down the runway, it hits me as 'wow.' As soon as she takes the jacket off it just looks really good. It's really hot! This is a pretty big stretch for me so I was happy that I was able to pull it off."
What's that gold ass-apron around her waist? I don't get it. I guess it's Lara Croft Tomb Raider-ish, but other than a fun bedroom outfit (WHAT?!) I don't really see it as action/adventure. I mean, who can scale a fence in that outfit?? I doubt she can even bend over without a boob popping out. (Like I said, "bedroom" outfit...)
And doesn't it look a little similar to...
LOGAN - Action/Adventure:
Logan: "I like how powerful the look is, you really know that she's been in battle, but I was going for something that was going to be dramatic on the runway and I feel like I did that."
Really, hotpants, you feel you accomplished that? Gotta say, Logan, I'm surprised you weren't in the bottom 3 with this. This is horrible. What have you done to Kojii's legs and crotch?! Why are her lady bits so wrinkled and WHY do her tiny legs look bulky?! You have the perfect model to do this genre with and you missed. BAD LOGAN! BAD! (And BTW, Carol Hannah did this look better... just saying.)
SHIRIN - Western:
Shirin: "I'm watching my model, Ebony, walking down the runway and I told her to give it a little dance and she goes all out. It looks really good. Everything seems to pop and just look amazing."
It's pretty, fits the genre and that's about all I have to say about it. Except for that Shirin should call her model by her proper Dream Team name: "Ebonisha." (GAG.)
ALTHEA - Film Noir:
Althea: "I definitely feel like I've created a film noir outfit and it's true to that sort of feeling, the era, the 40's. Tanisha is playing the role so well that it really seems like a movie instead of a catwalk."
Maybe she's just crying from the heels, Althea? This look isn't innovative AT ALL to me. It's a pencil skirt, a shirt and a bra. Whooopppeeeedoo. It's boring. Very well made, but bor-ing. There is ZERO risk in this outfit. ZERO. Seriously. I can put this look together with what I have in my closet and THAT IS NOT A COMPLIMENT AS I AM FASHION-CHALLENGED.
I have no idea how this is safe. Maybe Heidi wasn't getting proper blood flow due to her SEQUINED LEGGINGS. (I'm not over them...)
TOP 2:
EPPERSON - Western:
Epperson: "I'm totally excited. Matar she's like amazing. Such a nice connection and we both just ran with it. You can really see she's a western, tattered lady from that time. I'm proud of what I put out there."
Epperson explains to the judges that his character is alone as her husband is out fighting in "the war," and she's left to take care of the land and her children. She even has a gun in her knickers. (That's what she said!) He blended beautiful and tattered at the same time. The judges love how he thought outside of the box and the craftsmanship.
I have to say, MATAR ROCKED THIS. And I'm so glad the judges told her so. THIS is why it's a competition for the models too. She managed to embody her outfit and not just wear it. I'm so glad this was brought up in the judging. Matar and Epperson were a fabulous team. (Emphasis on WERE.)
CHRISTOPHER - Period Piece:
Christopher: "My garment really created this pride and Katie was really able to put forth what this woman would look like on the runway. I've really taken something that could still stand as a piece in my own runway show."
Well, "I ain't got no learnin'" not only didn't learn fashion, but he tells the judges that he hasn't bothered to learn history either so they should just be ready for historical inaccuracies. His model is a bride and she has to make a big decision. She has a secret that she's a vampire and she can marry her dude and make him a vampire or she can run away and never see him again, and just blog about it for eternity. Ahem.
The judges love his story and like how he thinks. I have to agree - it really is beautiful. I think what saves this is that she's a vampire bride. So he found an "out" to being historically uneducated and added an element of fantasy to it. SMART. Because if she was just a straight up Victorian broad, this wouldn't hold up.
WINNER!
NICOLAS - Science Fiction:
Nicolas: "Watching Celine walking down the runway is definitely is me and it does tell a story. I really pushed the envelope and I'm nervous because it could go either way. I could completely bomb or I could win this."
Nicolas tells the judges that his character is one of three sister queens who control the universe and she was thinking of overthrowing the other two sisters but they find out and banish her to a crypt where she's frozen for eternity. Okay. That's interesting. But I gotta say - this looks like an outfit for a movie on the Sci-Fi channel. Oh sorry. Sy-Fy. (Idiots. WHO CAME UP WITH THAT?!) Maybe it's just lost through TV, but this dress looks cheap to me. Celine looks great, but the dress looks cheap.
The judges LOOOOVE it, however. (Anybody else find the judges boring this week too?!) They just praise him in very uninteresting ways. Zzzzz.
BOTTOM 2:
GORDANA:
Gordana: "I definitely have created a character that I wanted to create. I am very confident and I'm very happy with the outcome. But you never know with the judges!"
Boy howdy, you truly never do know with these bi-polar judges. WHY is this in the bottom 3?! So sorry, but Althea's Ann Taylor Loft outfit and Logan's crazy Party City costume should have been here before Gordana. I TOTALLY disagree with the judges. And somebody call out Collier Strong on that HOT MESS of a wig on her head. BLECH! Horrible! Smack that guy, somebody!
The judges just don't think this look is a signature piece or special. That's it. They love her skill, but (and get this) she made a dress that looks like a dress that would be from that time period and that was wrong. The judges want to know: "Where is your point of view?" Okay. I get this. BUT, if I'm making a flapper dress for a movie and my POV is to put a hoodie on the back of the dress, I'm gonna get my sweet ass fired. K? Make the challenge specific. Either it's create a costume that could be in film OR it's a film INSPIRED piece. Because she nailed the genre. NAILED IT. Maybe if she had a second day to this challenge, it would have had a few more touches.
Sigh... I don't understand...
LOUISE - Film Noir:
Louise: "I think it's a really pretty dress but its just not as show stopping as some of the others. I wanted to do 40's and mix a little 20's in with it but it just didn't come across well as either one of the time periods."
YIKES! Fatma - what was that walk? You looked miserable and you walked like you had a mishap in your shorts. Oh sure, I can't walk in those heels either, but I'm not getting paid... oh wait, neither are you. Well it's your job, lady. WALK IT OUT!
Louise tells them that she wanted to make her model an actress who's going to an industry party where they are expected to dress in costume, so she's a 40's version of a flapper. Zoe doesn't think that Louise got it right in that it's a time era in a time era and the dress looks like a convoluted mess. (And yet, historical inaccuracies were okay for Christopher?) Zoe goes on to say it looks like a cheap costume you buy at the store. (NO. Logan's is. Seriously. Louise's is at least a Fredrick's Of Hollywood line. What? I do know these things, you know! I'm a new old biddy but I ain't dead, people.)
I felt SO BADLY for Louise. She really got hammered for something that doesn't deserve it. Honestly - this look to me is SAFE. Althea. Logan. I'm looking at you guys. Guess which one is shirtless in my head...? (Yeah, it's all I got...)
AUF'D:
Ra'Mon - Science Fiction:
Ra'Mon: "As she's walking down the runway there's a feeling of joy. The placement of certain things aren't exactly what I wanted, so I just have to be able to convey my story to the judges."
Ra'Mon tells the judges that his character's name is Lola. Ra'Mon, I'm gonna let you finish but HOLY BUTTCRACKS, her science fiction name isn't LOLA. It's Blemgorf or Rimfratz or Nazzlecheese. Something. NOT. LOLA.
He goes on to yak about home planets and some other noise, but really, all you can hear is the loudness of the dress. The judges give him kudos on the story, but really hate the swamp-thing, b-movie style dress.
Heidi is really upset at this piece 'o swampgrass that he's turned out because she really likes him as a designer. The judges also acknowledge that the leather is hard to work with and that he kinda sabotaged himself. Although he took a risk, it didn't pay off.
So Ra'Mon joins the legions of auf'd designers. Anybody else wish his final bite was ala Star Trek, "Dammit, Heidi, I'm a med-school dropout, not a costumer!" Just me? K.
So with Ra'mon going home, we say auf to KA!
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