Lincoln (GB) scored a school record 86 points in its win over North (JJ), 86-28. There were seventeen touchdowns in this game between the two teams, and three were kickoff returns. This was the greatest game ever and the crappiest game ever. [Hey, an antithesis!]
Ankeny (BD) was beaten for the first time this season by Dowling (LF), 28-16. So, Ankeny beat SE Polk, SE Polk beat Dowling, and Dowling beat Ankeny. Good Golly! Playoff matchups will be interesting. [Good Golly=Interjection, and a personal favorite of mine at that]
The Waukee (AM) Warriors toasted the Marshalltown (SCan) Marshmallows , 50-28. [Maybe M-Town are really the Bobcats, but I wanted to interject a little hyperbole.]
Roosevelt (JJ) beat Hoover (KCoo) 37-6. This game had hoped to be the blowout of the week, but it was disappointed to learn the Lincoln and Waukee both overshadowed it. [personification]
Southeast Polk (JM/SCoo) kicked Urbandale (MO), 35-7. [Did you know RAMS, SE Polk’s mascot, is an acronym for Runnells-Altoona-Mitchellville, the three towns that mostly make up the school district?]
Fort Dodge (KCar) won easily over Mason City (KA). Fort Dodge’s Mark Cady was as happy as a feral cat at the Doyle house. [a rare two-judge simile]
Johnston (MR) beat Sioux City West, 49-7. Youth challenged MR gets another point! [euphemism at my own expense]
Des Moines East’s (CS) evening excited everyone, eeking a win over Ottumwa (KW), 10-3. [aaah, alliteration]
Indianola (DS) did not play, but they tried to cheat anyway. They are the dogs of the CIML. They barked loud at first, but now they are hiding with their tails between their legs. They will be digging and scratching any way they can to win a game during the rest of the season. [That’s an example of an allegory. Please appreciate the thought I put into it.]
Valley (BH) beat Ames (SL), 41-0. Yawn—could Valley BE any more annoying? [that figure of speech is known as a Chandler Bingism]
COARSE contestants will be buzzing about this update. [had to get onomanopoea in there somehow]
~~MR
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